Valentine’s Day: A commercial gimmick

Written By- Pratik Deshpande, MBA-TBM (2014-2016), SCIT

(BachuLal is a fictional character and any resemblance to person living or dead is purely co-incidental)

Introduction-I don’t have a penchant for pets but following a relentless insistence of my mother who is a huge dog-lover we decided to buy one pug with the old Hutch ad as the major source of inspiration. On a murky Saturday we went to a pet shop and bought a pug with brown and black stripes. Surprise Surprise!! It was a talking pug (Till then my limited knowledge told me that only parrots can talk)!!We named him Tommy but he was dismayed at the name and shouted, “Tommy kutte ka naam lagta hai. Do I look like a dog?”

We shook our heads reluctantly and Mom lovingly named him, “BacchuLal”.

BachuLal’s tryst with ‘Vain’Time

BachuLal(pug), BL as we call him amicably, by now, had developed a liking for sports and was also struck by the ‘Cric’ virus. On the eve of the Valentine week, I took him along with me to breathe a bit of fresh polluted air. BL, curiosity-driven as always, asked me, “PD why are so many people thronging the streets today? What is so special?”

I explained like a professor teaching a nursery school children, “It’s a wealth drain week, you idiot. I mean Valentine week. These are the days when the shopkeepers ,the credit-card companies and many other commercial entities are at an all-time high while the poor boyfriends drain their hard-earned money(sometimes of their parents) on shiny ornaments, colorful garments for the future bed of roses which has a 0.9 probability of turning futile”

valentine

“Oh!! That’s why my girlfriend is a bit miffed with me,” BL set my eyes wide open. “What? Dating?You are Dating?” I was flummoxed for a second.

“Day before yesterday she asked me about my plans for Sunday. I confidently shot back at her saying I cannot devote every Sunday to you. My priorities are 1. Cricket 2. Football 3. Tennis and (after a pause) 4. You,” BL essayed his shocking revelation rubbing into me.

“Now I have realized boss, the importance of 14th. I need to shop too, Master”, BL retorted with a wide smile on his face. “V-day and all are gimmicks my dear friend. Ask our VK who has just suffered a heart-break,” I tried to put a damp on his happiness. “I know you are jealous of me PD. The harsh reality is bro! I have a wag and you are still a stag,” BL gave me a slap on the face reply. “Who is going to give you money for your unnecessary pursuit of lavishness?” I tried to bowl a googly to him. “Mere Paas Maa hain!!” BL stroked me for a humongous six. There was a stunned silence for a minute as I had to tone down my pitch.

(After a couple of days)

“Hahaa. Cutie Pie but what about India-Sri Lanka on Sunday?Forgot your priorities?” I asked him gently. “My priorities have changed. I have just watched Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. I am currently in Wonderland, brother,” BL said in high spirits. “Dhan gayo Mata,” I said to myself with a wry smile.

(On V-Day)

BachuLal was all set and in readiness for the V-day. By now, he had become tech-savvy and an SME in electronic equipment. He had booked a kissing car (a cab with almost double the normal prices!!) for the occasion plus reserved a table at Barking Dogs Café(A Shrewsberry Biscuit- 100 Rs tells you the volatility of the rates during the V-week).

14th Feb was a normal day in the office for me (U-19 finals, a walk in the park, Arsenal-Leicester, SA-Eng, Ind-SL, eat, sleep). While my eyes were just about to close, BL entered the room with his swagger walk with a virtual 50-inch chest. “The best day of my life, Master. A day worth every penny,” BL thundered in an elated manner. “Hmm..KK,” I chose to ignore him. “Soon it will turn into your worst day. Sab Moh Maya Hai,” I guffawed in my mind.

(After few days)

“Why are you sweating so much BL?” I asked BL with a look of concern.

“PD, I am not able to reach her. Maybe she has changed her number,” BL replied with a shattered tone.

“Maybe she has changed her BF,” I decided to turn a deaf ear and continued with my work.

“PD. Please do something,” BL continued to pester me. “It’s an era of Friends with Benefits, my dear friend. Move on and why are you barking? My Mom will bear the losses. Unfortunately we don’t have a Dogs with Benefits scheme,” I turned the tables on BL. Like all Romeos do, BL still had faith in his love. So in that faith he decided to search every nook and corner with the eyes of a detective. During the search, to his dismay, he found that he had been stabbed in the back and he had literally turned into a date. “You *****!” BL retorted in a high-decibel voice and soon went into a state of ‘dog’ma.

(When he got his senses back)

“So, how are you feeling getting ditched? You would have been better off watching India decimate Sri-Lanka and witnessing the various twists and turns in the Premier League,” I taunted.

It was clear that he was remorseful from within but didn’t want to show the expressions on his face.

“You jinxed it!!” BL gave a dogmatic reply and thus our love-hate relationship continued.

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