Reviewed by Bishakha Jain
“For you, a thousand times over”; Hassan says this to his dear friend Amir in the famous book ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’. When the same dialogue is shared between couples in their marriage; it would strengthen their relationship and would not matter if it was an arranged marriage or a love marriage. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people and also a test of how they work out their differences.
Both love and arranged marriages have certain inevitable pros and cons tagged to it. The key to determining the success of both lies in agreeing to disagree in times that test a relationship. If this equation is worked out between couples, then their bond would remain lovely forever.
Love happens between two people and would be the best if it remains that way whereas a marriage happens involves couples and their families also and its sanctity lies in keeping both parties happy. Similarly, in a love marriage; the happiness of the couple is given prime importance and in an arranged marriage happiness of the families is required the most.
The most prominent advantage of marrying the person you love is that you know the person in and out before starting a life with them. Common grounds are found by working out the differences between the two of them and a comfort zone is created to resolve issues. The couple also decides on the right time to tell their families of their decisions and in this process are backed by their friends. Since it is the choice of the couple, they have the added advantage of working out on the process of how the wedding costs are borne by both the parties and can cut down certain unnecessary extravaganza. In this process, couples may also succeed in eradicating the possibility of a dowry being given for marriage. The mutual decision of the couple to get married to each other also makes them responsible for taking the blame on themselves if things do not work out between them.
The visible pros of an arranged marriage are the consent and acceptance of both the families. It is more of a confluence between two families and their decision to protect the marriage in case of any issues that may arise in the future. Arranged marriages provide room for mitigation of problems because of the number of people involved in making the choice. An arranged marriage might involve an exchange of dowry because of the superiority that some families think they possess in the society. Often these marriages become a display of power and money and involve a high display of the same through lavish arrangements done for the wedding ceremony.
With changing times, we see a lot of love in arranged marriage and this works in favour of the couple. The ultimate success of a marriage lies in the interests of the couple. Couples who want their relationship to blossom would be ready to face any number of problems and work their way through them. Couples will have to fight constant battles to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses to support them when required.
Relationships are beautiful and a marriage makes it sacred. This bond can be made an eternal one when the efforts of both the people are at a striking balance. The glass of marriage should be filled with just enough love and all the other required emotions up to the brim. Excess of anything might cause an overflow and result in a disturbance to the underlying elements. As the vows of a Christian marriage go, couples must agree to be there for each other in sickness and in health and for better or for worse to make their marriage succeed.